I have been on this major kick to be my “best self” before I turn Forty in December! And man oh man, the pressure I have been putting on myself is UNREAL!
Now, don’t get me wrong, I think putting a little pressure on yourself to rev up your drive and desire to accomplish goals is a fabulous thing, but there is such a delicate balance between employing a little self motivation and “goal-ing” / “self-help-ing” yourself into a place where you feel as though you are sucking at every aspect of your life.
I don’t think I have quite reached the level of feeling like a complete failure at everything I am doing, but if I don’t take some time to reflect on this right now, I feel like I could easily get there. I feel like, as women (and as mothers), we are under a constant veil of overhanging expectations but also assumptions that we are never at our best. Social media, self-help books, goal planners, bloggers, celebrities, fitness experts, diet plans…all of these things tell us, every single day in some way or another, that we are NOT enough. And I am OVER it. And while I am at it, I am also done with women shaming other women, and I am done with the mentality that we CAN and SHOULD be all things to all people.
Ok, so now that I have gotten that off of my chest, because clearly it was really plaguing my thoughts, I want to talk about my personal plan to recognizing where these expectations and external “bullies” start affecting me and how I am going to strive to manage their influence on my life.
First of all, Im going to start making my goals fit into my life and not let them dictate my life. Am I right on this ?! Just because I want to lose 20 lbs or eat healthier, or go back to school or whatever the case may be, doesn’t mean I am nothing beyond that goal. I do believe you have to step up your game and push yourself to meet your goals, but just because you are working toward something doesn’t mean you shouldn’t strive to still enjoy life. You only get this one shot folks, don’t spend it all with your head down trying to get somewhere else. Stop. Look around you. THIS IS LIFE. Yes you can want more out of it, but don’t stop living it to get there.
Next, Im going to be ok with owning myself. The “Me” I am today is glorious! I am not going to be afraid to share that with the world. I also will not be afraid to be a little guarded, if I need to be, while I am figuring out my next steps in life. Setting boundaries, expressing the struggles and celebrating the successes will be a part of my life. Not only in reference to goal achievement, but in my every day world.
Lastly, I will to allow myself the grace and dignity to know when I need support and to have a plan on how I will lend support to others in my life. Lending support does not mean putting everyone else in front of yourself. On the flip side, receiving support is not a sign that you are incapable of accomplishing greatness on your own. It takes a Village, friends, to do this thing called life.
Find that balance for yourself though my friends. There is no perfect way to do this life. You deserve to reach your dreams and goals but you also deserve to do it in a way that keeps you authentically YOU.