Guys, today marks the end of 2nd grade and Kindergarten for my little ladies and I am really feeling the pull of my heartstrings this year. I mean, yes I am normally emotional during these kinds of milestones, but this year has me feeling more. In fact, I think even my girls are feeling it more as well. They have had definite excitement about the end of the school year but they are also sad to say “goodbye” to their classmates, teachers and their school community for a few months.
I’ve been asking myself, why? Why is this year so much more emotional? And I think I’ve come up with a few reasons that we are having all of the feelings right now.
First, this is our first time having summer vacation after our big move last year. So I think for me as mom, I am thinking where did that year go?! We are just getting settled into a routine and now we are messing with it again. Also, the sense of community I feel every day when I drop the girls to school has been a blessing. I have met the most wonderful group of parents this year who are all so very different but have been my lifeline to a social life when I was feeling lost. I will miss morning coffee chats at drop off and having that adult time to start the day.
Postings are emotional rollercoasters and this is one more reminder of that.
Additionally, and this one is no joke, my kids have grown so much this year it’s unbelievable. Honestly, I am blown away by how incredible my girls are. They have navigated this transition year so well and exceeded any all all expectations in school. They have embraced this new community and it has embraced them. They are laying roots here and making memories and I love their bravery. My heart bursts with pride to watch them grow independently and grow their bond together. On this last day of school, my hubby and I couldn’t be more proud of our little ladies if we tried.
Lastly, I think it’s the feeling of wow, we have really made so many memories and established some amazing “roots” in this new place in one year, but we only have two years left! And there is trepidation and anxiety that comes with knowing this is all only temporary. So with this marker of year end, the emotional pot is stirred vigorously for this MilSpouse. I was saying to hubby last my that I think I need a few more moves under my belt and maybe these feelings will seem more manageable.
For my girls, I think they are feeling emotional because they are wondering what it will be like when school starts again. Will it be as hard? Will it be as amazing as this year? Will my friends remember me? Will I continue to make new friends? What a rollercoaster this year has been for them as well. Just when they have a social circle and feel comfortable, summer vacation arrives and as much as we will try to have play dates etc this summer, it’s not the same and having that time with their peers daily. My heart aches for them. I will do my best to help them navigate these waters but it will of course still have it’s challenging moments no doubt.
So friends, here I am, vulnerable and emotional and I’m asking for advice!
How do you MilFams cope with the anxiety and excitement and trepidation of short postings? How do you make the most of it all?
How do you other parents manage being so proud and loving watching your kids grow, while all the while screaming and crying at time to slow down just a little bit? I am at a loss on this one. How do we embrace the beauty of these milestone markers like the end of a school year and not want to dig in our heels and press pause?
Let’s start this conversation so we can all feel support and love, but also so we can add tools to the tools box to manage this difficult moments!
Happy End if school to you all and may you find fun, quality time and adventure this summer!
For as long as I can remember, I have loved babies! I never questioned whether or not I wanted to have kids but just had to meet the right person and know we were ready to embark on a lifetime of adventure and responsibility. I also know that if my darling hubby had never come along, I would have still found a way to be a mom.
My path to being “mom” wasn’t easy. My first pregnancy was a dream, until it wasn’t. At 33 weeks and 3 days my angel Addison was born, with no brain activity, after hours of monitoring, tests and finally an emergency C-section. She was tiny and beautiful but she wouldn’t make it to see 24 hours.
When we heard that our time with her would be limited, the feeling was surreal and beyond devastating. We had so many questions. We felt anguish and grief beyond anything I had ever known possible. I also carried guilt, unnecessarily, but I carried it nonetheless. What had I done wrong? Why is this happening? What is wrong with me? My first duty’s as a mom were not feeding my baby, changing her bum or bathing her. I rocked her, and held her as long as I could. We had her baptized and took photos. I held her until her final breath and then did something no mother, or father should ever have to do, I said goodbye.
Saying goodbye to the beautiful baby whom I loved from the first time I even thought I might be pregnant, was literally heart breaking. Watching my husband go to the funeral home to make plans, take care of me and cope with his own grief, was gut wrenching.
The days, weeks and months to follow were a fog and full of love and support, but still so empty. Hubby and I had nights of long conversations, tears, fear and loss. But what we did know what that medically, there was no reason to think we couldn’t have a healthy baby at some point. And if having Addison taught me anything (and honestly she taught me so many things) it was that we wanted to be the best parents to her by honouring her and remembering her. We also knew we still wanted to try again.
Less than 3 months later, it was New Years Eve, and I had ” a feeling”. I took a pregnancy test before going out with friends and sure enough, I was pregnant. I was over joyed, overwhelmed, and scared as hell. Luckily we had the most beautiful angel watching over us, as well as a team of doctors, and less than 11 months after we said goodbye to Addison, Ava Grace was born, with a grand entrance, healthy and perfect. Fast forward 22 months later and she had a gorgeous baby sister, Mackinley Paige. And our family was complete.
This Mother’s Day I will find joy in the paper crafts and hugs with my two little beauties here with me. I will spend some quiet time by myself with a few tears wishing a I could hold Addison just one more time and wondering what my now almost 9 year old would look like and what her personality would be like. I will wipe my tears and be thankful for her. I will also remember that being a mom is hard, but it is such a privilege that so many take for granted. In fact, sometimes I still take it for granted.
On those days when I count down the seconds until bedtime, when I raise my voice to stop the sibling bickering, when I find myself needing 5 minutes to be alone, I take a deep breath and know that someday they will be grown and I will miss their laughs and bickering in my house. I also remember that my journey to get here wasn’t easy and take a moment to practice gratitude for the joyous life I love with my family here, and my angel who watches over me.
This Mother’s Day I hope that my friends, family and those who may read this who are struggling to have a healthy baby know that they have our love and support, and we pray that they will be able to fulfil their parenting dreams at some time in someway that works for them. I hope that those families who have suffered loss, have found peace and comfort.
Becoming a mom often isn’t as easy as we would like it to be, so let’s be gentle with ourselves and with each other on Mother’s Day and all the other days that we are needing a mom, being a mom, or longing to be called mom.
Wow, does anyone else feel like that was the quickest month EVER?!
Phew, I am still sweating from the race from start to finish that was January! It is not lost on me that the saying goes, “Time flies, when you’re having fun” and I can truly say that I strived to make my January health and fitness goals as much fun as I possibly could.
So, lets talk about how it went over all then I will break down the nitty gritty as well as let you know whats to come for February!
I am generally proud and pleased by my progress month, even though the scale isn’t showing a lot of my hard work, I am feeling fantastic and seeing lots of NSV’s (non scale victories). I am hitting up the gym or getting in an at home workout 5-6 times a week and doing 20+ minutes of yoga each and every day. I successfully accomplished the TRUE, Yoga with Adriene challenge and loved the days when hubby would join me on the mat for this awesome practice in exercise and self care! It was great for our physical well being as well as quality time together shared as a couple.
I crushed my Lululemon Strava challenge and scored 25% off any purchase so splurged on a new pair of my FAVE crops from them! If you haven’t tried their Align pants or crops, you are missing OUT! (Note to self, and to you guys,Things I Love Thursday needs a LULU edition ASAP)
As for the kitchen goals, I’d say I was at a 75/25% for success in planning and prepping. That being said, my hubby was away for two weeks and that always throws me for a loop but I didn’t go off the rails, I just approached things with a more laid back attitude and chose my battles carefully. Sometimes, I’ve learned, that when I over stress about the plan, I set myself up for failure. For instance, if one little thing goes off the track, I use that as an excuse for falling off the proverbial wagon. Deployment can often be one of those plan wreckers so I flipped the script and made a less stringent plan for those weeks so I could feel good about how things were going. I must say, this really worked for me and my girls. Less stress = more success!
Other NSV’s for me were:
1) feeling more comfortable in my clothing. I’m really starting to see things getting a little looser or fitting more flattering which is always a motivator and confidence boost. Also, in terms of the physical, I’m seeing my skin feel less oily and subsequently less break outs which is amazing.
2) I am loving that my mood has improved and my approach is generally more patient and relaxed. When I feel like I have things, like my weight and health, under control, I am more positive, patient and less anxious. This shift in mental health for me is key. When I am physically uncomfortable, it greatly affects how I present myself outwardly and how I feel mentally. I exude more confidence, positivity and cultivate more motivation when I am on track physically which includes healthy diet, exercise and self care.
3) I took my measurements on January 2nd, then again this week and “bam” I am down 2 inches. That’s a move in the right direction for sure. This really does motivate me to keep moving forward and focus less on the scale and more on loving my body inside and out. That being said, I still have a number goal in mind, but ultimately, feeling good and being fit/healthy is the priority.
4) This one is a bit superficial, but who doesn’t LOVE a nice compliment?! At the gym two days ago, my Body Combat instructor pulled me aside after class to tell me how amazing my form was and that I am looking fierce and strong in class! Can I get a HELL YEAH?! That put me on cloud 900! Ill take that and make sure I am there at the next class ready to kick some a$$!
Alright, alright, enough about what I did already, lets talk about whats to come. This is just the beginning of my journey this year and although my focus in February will be taking a new angle, it doesn’t mean this part comes to an abrupt end. Health and fitness is a journey; a journey of and FOR a lifetime, and I am in it to win it! You’ll still hear about that part of my journey here and on Instagram (@momdaymotivation) but Im going to up the ante and indulge in a little love for the month of February. Self Love. Self Care. Self Talk that is kind and loving and courageous. I’m going to embrace the beauty that is ME; I will own it and give it a big ol’ hug!
I hope you met some of your own January goals, I know you have been working your tails off!! Literally! Share your progress with me. The good, the bad, the ugly and the down right AMAZING! Also, join me in continuing this exploration of self and add in a little love.
You’ve got this!